Saturday, November 8, 2008

squares squares squares

I'm all about the squares. Used my coupon and got new sock yarn (I know I shouldn't have but who needs food when you have sock yarn!!!!) Patons Kroy sock stripes.

Knitting satisfies something in me. Calms me. Memo says I should read this book called complexity. Maybe it will confirm my suspicions that the world is so complex we need something like knitting to make things simple for us to handle this whole living on earth thing. He scared me yesterday. Said he was going to kill himself. We talked for a while about how unhappy he is. Everything he tries comes out fucked up he says. He keeps expecting things to go OK but then they just get worse. I feel the same way he does. I am so sad most of the time. So I try to breathe in Love and send out love whenever I have a minute so the sadness doesn't take me over. I don't think he can do that. I get the feeling he thinks that's too optimistic and he says optimism is wrong. There is only reality. But his reality is that life is so painful he wants to kill himself. Killing himself is the only way to cope. I say love is the way to cope. Just be open to love.

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